The other day I was reviewing some affirmations and noticed a clenched feeling in my chest while reading one. Something felt out of whack and was sending me signals. The affirmation read "I have a steady, predictable income." Now there's nothing negative about those words but somehow it felt like looking through the wrong end of the binoculars. It made me think of lack instead of abundance. Something surprising happened as I realized this. The idea of rejecting predictability and embracing the unknown gave me an enormous burst of energy and excitement. I felt certain that this was right for me and that feeling continues.
It's as though my orientation has changed from security to possibility, from the bird in the hand to the two in the bush. Fortune favors the brave. I will get more of what I want-- more joy, more energy, more blessings-- by increasing my trust than by protecting against fear. The opposite is also true-- the more I fear, the more limited my world, the more I settle for less.
What moves you further along the continuum from fear to trust? Courage develops incrementally. I'm not recommending that you go from agoraphobic to professional public speaker in one fell swoop. You're not supposed to feel terrified. Start with small steps and build on your success. Little by little you can let go of what you can control and embrace the unknown. Here are some examples of ways that make it easier:
Experience
Katrina had some anxiety about starting grad school so she
planned a practice run to the campus to get the lay of the land
and find her way around. Now that the logistics are handled she
feels better able to manage all the other new elements of what's
to come.
Knowledge
Lorraine was asked to attend a community organization to
represent her group's issue. She was intrigued but scared. A
friend who was part of the organization gave her a blow by blow
of the meeting-- what would happen, who would be there, how
they'd be dressed. That description made the event substantially
less frightening.
High Value
It's a whole lot easier to be courageous when you truly want
something. Jane loves her local museum and always wanted to
become a docent. Though shy in groups, she was determined to
volunteer, and enjoyed the first meeting without dread or social
anxiety.
Low Risk
One thing that helped Jane was to figure out the worst possible
outcome and determine its likelihood. They probably weren't going
to laugh and point, and if she tripped when she walked in she
could get up and say "Tah Dah!"
You're in Charge
Your hand controls the reins of how much discomfort you can
handle. You get to choose whether to go or stay. When Tom Smith
was training Seabiscuit he didn't try to force the horse to do
what he refused. Smith let Seabiscuit discover that he had
choice. You don't need to be defensive or resistant when you're
the one in charge.
Camaraderie
There's safety in numbers. Things always seem less frightening
when you do it with a friend. Maybe it's just misery loves
company. Whatever the motivation, friends offer support, and help
bring out your biggest self. I'm often my boldest and most
outrageous with my friend Gina. She's got me doing stuff on stage
that I never imagined possible, but I feel safe in her
company.
Higher Power
No courage How-To list would be complete without trust in God.
I'm a novice in spiritual matters and only just learning how
faith operates in my life. Suffice it to say that being part of
something infinite and all-powerful can definitely give you a leg
up.
So maybe courage is simply portable safety-- finding it within yourself rather than seeking it from the world; generating it as needed and always having the right amount-- no more, no less. That's certainly a productive use of resources.