Inner Whizdom

I went over to a friend’s house yesterday to hear about a business venture she was considering. Maybe I’m naive because it never occurred to me that this was a multi-level-marketing intro event.

It was very low key and soft sell. I wasn’t pressured. This is probably a fine venture for some people.

But for me it mostly felt as though I was trying to understand a foreign culture. In this world the only purpose of work was to make money. There was no place for fulfillment of any other kind. That only comes from having the money.

The product they were selling was a way of doing sales. You sell other people the opportunity to sell. The products anyone buys are relatively unimportant. It’s the way they buy them.

Now granted, I am a dreadful salesperson. I’m good at customer service but lousy at asking for money. I would starve to death if I had to sell for a living. So this is not the opportunity for me. And, probably, why I don’t understand it better.

But it repulses me a little, the idea of doing something only to get paid.

I deleted the ebill I got this morning from Bank of America. They’d added late fees onto the finance charge they applied days AFTER I’d paid off my entire balance and closed my account. I was so angry with them from before that I was just going to ignore it forever and they could go jump in a lake.

That lasted for an hour or so. I started feeling twinges of yuck about the whole mess and finally looked online and documented all the payments and blah blah blah then called their “customer service” department, steeling myself for another fight.

Instead I got a pleasant man named Rocky who looked at the records and agreed to remove the finance charges. Just like that! I was a little off balance because I was ready to be aggressive but his demeanor diffused some of that. And instead of being an asshole myself I just asked him to please make the charges disappear and he said okay.

Thank you Rocky (he must be a new hire from one of the banks that went under).

I’m proud of myself for facing the fear and for trying a pleasant approach before getting defensive.

I can’t quite wrap my head around what an economic collapse would mean.  How would it affect me? Do I lose my job? My house? My level of comfort? The only thing I’ve seen so far is the potential for a lot of fear.

I’m revving up my love generator as an antidote.  Fear of the unknown does nobody any good.

I was fortunate that the tragedies of 9/11 did not affect me personally.  I did not know anyone who died.  I’m assuming that’s why, 7 years later, I don’t have much personal connection to the date. My heart goes out to those who lost family and friends and their lives, and I honor those who are in service to our country (even though I disagree strongly with the administration).

There was a sign in my office yesterday that said, “Remember 9/11 and never ever forget.” I’m not sure what I’m supposed to remember. That extremists committed terrorist acts? That thousands lost their lives for no reason?

I don’t want to feel pain and fear every September 11th. I don’t want to put those thoughts out. How can I use this rememberance to serve love and bring peace?

I’ve been thinking about why I admire my friend Anna Forbes so much. I think it’s because she doesn’t worry about making a fool of herself.  She doesn’t let the fear of foolishness limit her. Therefore she lives a very large life.  She doesn’t make any more blunders than those of us who tread carefully. And any embarrassing moments are quickly forgotten. Anna models fearlessness magnificently. I want to be like her.

My heart is full.  My best friend from high school surprised me and came to hear my concert last night. She and her husband were vacationing nearby.  It was such a pleasure to reconnect. I’d always wanted them to meet Michael but I’d never make him go to a reunion. This was perfect and everyone got along.

I admire this woman, Anna Forbes. She’s the deputy director of the Global Campaign for Microbicides and she works tirelessly to prevent HIV/AIDS around the world. I’m so glad to know her and to reconnect.

I’m on the receiving end of some predatory practices from Bank of America. Apparently they weren’t making enough money off of me so they tripled my APR because my payment was 2 days late.

I am fortunate that I have some options. Through some finagling I can close my account and never do business with them again. But I got a taste of the despair I’d feel if I were not able to tell them to shove it.

Shame on you decision makers at BoA. You don’t need to do business this way.

I woke up Saturday morning and couldn’t wait any longer. I am grateful to our visiting guests for their forbearance as I disappeared for 4 hours.

I drove to the Holyoke Mall Apple store– about an hour and a half away. There I had the customer service experience I’d been hoping for. Thank you Frank.

I managed to let it out of my hand during the performances over the weekend.

And Liz and her iPhone lived happily ever after. The End.

I had another frustrating interaction today about my non-happening iPhone.   There doesn’t seem to be any way to make it happen because I live in the boonies and the business model requires that customers go only to certain stores (2 hours away that won’t hold a product until I get there).

As I sat here trying to choke down the tears, and vowing to never do business with still another establishment because of the way they treated me, it occured to me that I have choice about the way I’m feeling about this.  Getting upset today for something that may or may not happen in the future is really a waste of time. I surrender my attachment.

24 hours after I left the message at the AT&T store asking them to call, so I wouldn’t have to drive there for no reason, the manager returned my call. I got to dump all of my frustration, and bless his heart, he took it.

That felt really good.